Herbal Horror

Dear Herbal Essences,
I feel I must write to complain about your new shampoo and conditioner bottles. While the new design is fresh, new and original in essence (ha, ha) the questions and answers on the back of the bottle continue to frustrate me. I shall take the opportunity to remind you that not everywhere [...]

Complaint about the Cat

Dear cat,
I am writing to lodge a formal complaint regarding your conduct in the household. Your destructive behaviour has perplexed and frustrated me over the years to the point where I simply have no other option. Please observe the behaviours below and correct them to the best of your ability.
The first matter I [...]

Complaint to EasyJet

Dear Easyjet,
I am writing to complain about your poor service on board my flight to malaga because of the poor service and lack of hospitality.
Firstly, when I asked kindly one of your crew members to get me a drink, he just replied ” You can wait until we visit all the other passengers!!” and then [...]

Loans Angels Complaints

Ref: LoansAngels Daytime Advertising Campaign.
Dear Loanshark, Moneylender, LoansAngels;
It was with great interest (though considerably less than you charge) that I viewed your recent day time television advertisement.
I would be grateful if you could enlighten me on the following points please:
•How is it that the people your actors portray – couples desperately in debt and [...]

Thompson Holidays Complaint

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Dear Thompson Holidays,
I feel that i must complain about the all inclusive holiday we booked with you in Nerja Spain, The hotel Villa Flamenco was meant to be a five star, but when we arrived it was obviously one star if that, whoever did your rating clearly had never stayed there. We also booked an [...]

Meat Pie Complaint

To whom this may concern.
I am writing concerning a meat pie that I bought from my local shop which your company produce.
I have bought your pies for a number of years and I have always found them very enjoyable until today.
As I sat down to enjoy my meal while watching corrie as Friday [...]

BT Complaint

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BT plc Correspondence Centre
Durham
DH98 1BT
07 August 06
Account No. MY505212370028
Dear Sir or Madam,
I was recently pleased to receive your letter informing me that the line rental for my call plan has been reduced by an astonishing £1.55! Although here are some better ways you could probably spend that money:-
1. Please arrange for an engineer to come and [...]

Complaint on Bingo Adverts

I am probably not alone when i write this complaint. I have had a severe gambling problem over the last several months and have had a lot of support from my family and general practitioner to overcome the addiction. However, the addiction is very hard to overcome especially when all you see on [...]

The Position of Pet Ownership

Dear Pet Owner,
I regret to have to inform you that Boo Boo is ill; he has a chest infection, a broken leg, worms and he ate a tin can which is ruining his insides. Unfortunately, to fix any one of these problems it’s going to cost you heap of money, not ‘cos I’m funny [...]

Argos Mower Complaint

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I purchased Mower and Grass Trimmer Pack, which was on offer and when I took it home it seemed to be used and didn’t assembly properly due to the handle issue. Therefore I took it back to the Erith Argos Store and got it exchanged, Manager Steven from the store bought the box out [...]

Shopping Mall Complaint

Dear Shopping Mall Manager,
Something that I find quite disgusting is happening in your Shopping Mall. Things that should be done in private are being done in public. I’m not talking about public displays of affection, drunks falling down and vomiting all over the place or even men urinating on public buildings, no, [...]

People in Doorways and Other Complaints

To whom it may concern,
I am a dissatisfied customer of society. I feel that the work and effort that I put into my community is never returned in any way, shape or form. My attempts to be civil and polite go unnoticed in a society that has dissolved into rudeness – or, even worse, stupidity.
I [...]

There’s a Reason Nobody Likes You!

Picture the situation. You decide to have a fun day out at the cinema with all your friends. Before you all meet, you arrange to see a particular film that looks both enjoyable and interesting, one that you’ve all been looking forward to. You meet at the entrance of the cinema, ready to buy your [...]

Complaint about Student Finance

Although I understand that Student Finance has very little competence when it comes to organising themselves, I still am in utter shock by their inability to produce the goods they happily advertise to students all around Britain, a loan. It is a sad fact that many of my peers have been left with no money [...]

Primani

Primani…. a place where women revert to their primeval instincts.
In Primark anything goes, it’s like another world, a modern day journey to the heart of darkness.
You walk through the doors in a good mood; it’s a sunny day and you’ve been shopping. But once you get through those doors everything changes. It’s an attack [...]

Crusing For A Bruising

Dear Sirs,
Oceana Cruise E925 departed Southampton 3rd October 2009
After some consideration, I find myself compelled to write to you regarding the level of service experienced on the above mentioned cruise.
My partner and I are fairly regular customers of P & O Cruises and had suggested to friends that they use the cruise in question [...]

Fickle Facebook Friends

Dear Facebook Friends
Can you please tell me why you added me to your Facebook when you never appear to read or respond to anything that I write.
Are you so self absorbed that you think how thrilled I must be to hear
every mundane detail of your life like what you are having for tea or the [...]

Sandwell recycling scheme: rubbish

Since the blue lid recycling service started, my recycling bin has never been collected. The first collection was supposed to be Thursday 4th March. I left my bin out, only bringing it in on the following Monday. I called to report a missed collection on Wednesday and was told it couldn’t be dealt with, as [...]

Tesco Store Layout

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Dear Sir or Madam
Ref: Tesco Store Layout
As supermarkets are the cheapest way to shop and yours is the closest to where I live, I do my main shop with you every Wednesday.
Being of a short build, five foot in fact, it would seem I am not the only one who struggles to reach some of [...]

Argh these younglings!!

It’s always great to see children enjoying their hobbies and developing their talents. Everyone enjoys seeing a young prodigy emerge in any activity. Remember the excitement England felt at the emergence of Wayne Rooney? Remember how our hearts melted at Tom Daley competing in the Olympics (he was the diver, for those of you who [...]