Dear Boots

I am writing to inform you of a recent bizarre exchange I had with one of your retail assistants/store associates/customer faciliators/ or whatever ridiculous title you now bestow on shop assistants.

Although the young man in question wore a badge with the motto ‘Here to help’, he was clearly unable to live up to his boast.

I purchased some items from him and used my Boots Advantage Points to pay for them. I told him that I would like to take a copy of the Boots magazine too. This magazine is free to Advantage Card holders.

The assistant told me that he was unable to give me a copy because the till’s program did not recognise me as an Advantage Card holder.

” But I’ve just paid by Advantage card.” I said.

” I know ” he replied ” it’s because you didn’t actually buy anything.”

” But I did, I just used the points as payment.”

” Yes but it shows as a zero transaction.”

” So you’re saying I can’t have an Advantage Card holders magazine?”

” Sorry, it’s because it won’t scan.”

” Can you just put it in my bag then, it is free after all?”

” No sorry, I need to scan it.”

” But it won’t scan.”

” No.”

” Well, I’m going to pick up a copy, put it in my handbag and walk out with it. I’m not stealing it because it’s free.”

The assistant looked horrified and unsure what to do. Call security? Get me stopped at the door? But I hadn’t stolen anything. Had I? It was all too much for him to figure out.

If the magazines are free why not just have them on display for customers to help themselves? I don’t know what percentage of your customers have Advantage cards but I’d bet they’re the majority and if some despicable rogue who didn’t have one decided to pick up a magazine, would it cause the company such a huge financial loss?

After all said and done the magazine is merely an extended advertisement for your products. If you people to read it at least make it easy for them to get hold of it.