From the category archives:

Society

Window Cleaner

Dear Devon Window Cleaners I am writing with concern of an incident with a window cleaner from your company. Whilst lying naked (obviously) in my bath one afternoon, enjoying the hot water and a chance to soak away my troubles I heard a rather odd noise against the outside wall. Taking no notice whatsoever as [...]

Questioning My Future

Dear everyone and anyone, It’s time for me to let off a little bit of steam that has been building for a long, long time and I am sure there are many of you out there will have felt exactly how I do. “What do you want to do when you leave school? What are [...]

Dear Santa

Dear Santa, I am writing to express my deep dissatisfaction at the service I received over the Christmas period 2010. Upon visiting the “Santa’s Grotto” in the local shopping centre I was accosted by two elves who suggested (rather inappropriately) that I may like to ‘sit on Santa’s knee’. When I declined this they immediately [...]

Pull your socks up, Royal Mail

Customer Services Royal Mail Dear Sir or Madam I’m writing to complain about your parcel delivery service, partly because I’m annoyed, and partly because I love and support Royal Mail, use it a lot, and don’t want to lose it. So it matters to me that the service doesn’t keep letting itself down. A parcel [...]

People in Doorways and Other Complaints

To whom it may concern, I am a dissatisfied customer of society. I feel that the work and effort that I put into my community is never returned in any way, shape or form. My attempts to be civil and polite go unnoticed in a society that has dissolved into rudeness – or, even worse, [...]

There’s a Reason Nobody Likes You!

Picture the situation. You decide to have a fun day out at the cinema with all your friends. Before you all meet, you arrange to see a particular film that looks both enjoyable and interesting, one that you’ve all been looking forward to. You meet at the entrance of the cinema, ready to buy your [...]

Complaint about Student Finance

Although I understand that Student Finance has very little competence when it comes to organising themselves, I still am in utter shock by their inability to produce the goods they happily advertise to students all around Britain, a loan. It is a sad fact that many of my peers have been left with no money [...]

Sandwell recycling scheme: rubbish

Since the blue lid recycling service started, my recycling bin has never been collected. The first collection was supposed to be Thursday 4th March. I left my bin out, only bringing it in on the following Monday. I called to report a missed collection on Wednesday and was told it couldn’t be dealt with, as [...]

Argh these younglings!!

It’s always great to see children enjoying their hobbies and developing their talents. Everyone enjoys seeing a young prodigy emerge in any activity. Remember the excitement England felt at the emergence of Wayne Rooney? Remember how our hearts melted at Tom Daley competing in the Olympics (he was the diver, for those of you who [...]

Pedestrian Rage

Dear Ambling Pedestrians, Why is it certain people don’t understand the meaning of haste? When I’m walking through town I generally have a goal of where I need to go. To a meeting, work, home, to catch a bus. It makes life far simpler if you know where you’re going when you head out of [...]

Clarity, Hypocrisy and Vagueness

I may only be 24 years old, and I may not have a “political education” (whatever that may be. An education in ‘politics’? Would this be given at school? Or is it a kind of ‘School of Hard Knocks’ learning that you get from experience?), but what I do understand is the English Language. Now, [...]

Complaint about the Elderly

Dear my beloved O.A.P’s, My main complaint is about buses. Yes you get all these horror stories about yob’s setting their dog’s loose on the top deck and murdering a few children, but the elderly are the real facists of the line 280. Firstly, you really think you own the place. Most importantly you think [...]

Sneeze on me……?

Hello Madam/gentelman/ alien from planet Zog, I am writing to say, no i would not like to be sneezed on anymore. Because it seems that everywhere i go, someone or some people are getting ready to spurt their mucus all over my face. It isn’t nice, especially when it goes in my mouth, it tastes [...]

Adultery Complaint

I got this letter through myletter box, It was ment for the house next door but too late, I opened it then typed it up for you guys to see. Names have been changed to protect the guilty This is not a circular You may be aware that your daughter “Megan” has formed a sexual [...]

TV – a mixed blessing

Television! I can’t even see the wretched thing at the moment because I’m in another room, but I can hear it – a squeaky voice – somebody pretending to be Mickey Mouse or Snow White or something diddums ickle. And here am I – a frustrated genius – or frustrated letter-writer, anyway – trying to [...]

A Xmas Gripe

Christmas is packaged with ascetic lights and glitter, but the lights can give lots of us headaches, and ‘that’ glitter gets absolutely everywhere, and can remain in nooks and crannies long after, a constant reminder of the whole sorry mess of it all! I’m nearly penniless – and why? Because Christmas has picked myself up [...]

Esso

I was on my motorcycle and tried to put petrol in my bike..the guy in the kiosk kept staring at me..
and wouldn’t turn pump on… he then points and makes gesture to put trigger back on the pump so i did this..then tried again and he just kept staring by then im getting bit peeved

Bra

Dear Editor I have to get this off my chest. That “solar-powered bra” as it was reported in the news. What has happened to journalism? When I saw the headline I thought, and hoped, that possibly it was a bra with some kind of solar panel, which powers a device that inflates the cups and [...]

Racists are the only people with defects

Something which we British people have always been proud of is our heritage; that we belong to a race of liberation, high culture and innovation. And yet before we wave our Union Jacks high and praise our patriotic race, perhaps it would be wise to remember that we are a multicultural country. We blame immigration [...]

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