The London Underground is lots of things; it’s dirty, a hive of germs, sweaty, overcrowded and no one makes any eye (or any other kind of) contact with anyone. But, every day, when we make our commutes, we expect it. We accept it. It has become something we even fondly refer to. It’s become a London institute, a tradition a part of our day. We know it, we understand it, and we cope with it. It is what it is.
What it is not though, is a beauty salon. Why then, do so many women treat it as such? I can deal with a quick makeup reapplication and, at a stretch, I can even deal with the odd nail painting, although the fumes are sometimes quite overpowering. Lines, however, need to be drawn when a seemingly normal looking woman whips out a Venus Razor and dry shaves her ARMS!
Why anyone shaves their arms in the first place, is a first class mystery, but definitely not the real mystery. The mystery lies in how on earth anyone (normal or ab) could possibly believe that flying, black arm hair is acceptable anywhere outside of the privacy of her own bathroom. Did the woman not have her own bathroom? The man shaking black arm hair off his trouser suit was no doubt pondering just that question.
Luckily, when faced with such disgusting displays of grooming, reassuring British Underground Etiquette kicks immediately into place. We splutter a bit, look down and avoid all eye contact with anyone. We watch the ground, and watch the gathering collection of black hair that litters it.