Dear Sir,

Although it is very kind of Domestic & General to worry about my peace of mind, it seems rather thoughtless to send me a reminder to renew my guarantee three months after the policy lapsed. I cancelled my insurance in April so why are contacting me in July?

While I can’t pretend my dishwasher was a member of the family (but it almost was so let’s call it ‘Proline’ for ease) Proline certainly played a big part in our family life. Washing dishes for birthdays, Christmas and those lesser semi-religious festivals that the television always seems to celebrate. Proline oversaw this process with verve, ability and a certain amount of cleanliness. However, Proline was never perfect. We all remember our despair at the times the little wheels on the drawer fell off just after you’d put the last dirty plate in. Or when Proline seemed to get stuck half-way through the cycle. Or when Proline forgot to release the magic tablet so the wash wasn’t clean.

Your letter seems doubly thoughtless and quite definitely cruel when one considers that my dishwasher has now gone to dishwasher heaven or, as the dump might call it, into the spare parts trolley. Yes, my old, always ropey and never that fit dishwasher finally coughed up its last dishwasher tablet before steaming off into being retired forever.

Fortunately, when Proline gasped its last bubble, I felt able to purchase a new and far more eco-friendly replacement!

Yours very sincerely,

Y. Keyani