27th August 2009

Dear Sir or Madam,

Sunshine Caravan Number 46

I apologise for having to bring this matter to your attention, but having failed to resolve the issues with your stand-in customer service staff, I am really left with no choice. You will notice that I have referred to them as stand-in, because I refuse to believe that the young lady and gentleman I spoke to on the day of departure could possibly be your frontline staff, such was their disinterested attitude. No doubt if I had joined in with their conversation about the X Factor and what Sharon was doing going out with Jason, I would have received better service.

Your records will show that my family and I had the dubious pleasure of staying at the above holiday camp during the week beginning 13th August and perhaps with hindsight that should have been an omen in itself. Whilst we were under no illusions about what to expect from Happy Times Camps, with your holidays being so competitively priced, I think that we had the right to expect a certain standard of hygiene, cleanliness and customer service. We also had the right to expect the facilities to be as advertised, none of which panned out. For your ease of reference I have listed below our complaints and observations.

• Might I suggest that in next year’s brochure you advertise that your holiday accommodation is only suitable for dwarfs, as the double bed provided could only have been designed with them in mind?
• Might I also suggest you furnish your cleaners with a dictionary each so that they can look up what cleaning actually means? Hoovering only the visible carpet whilst leaving half eaten sandwiches, old socks and things I don’t even want to mention, under beds and down the back of the sofa bed, does not constitute cleaning.
• You might also wish to refer to your swimming pool as a puddle, that being a more accurate description of its size, unless again it was designed with the aforementioned dwarfs in mind.
• Whilst I cannot fault your claim to be situated near to the animals in Park Zoo, I did not expect to be sharing the caravan with some of them. I refer here to the nest of flying ants in the shower light and whatever variety of birds it was who gathered on our caravan roof every morning at five o’clock and held a noisy squabble.
• As I mentioned earlier, we appreciate that your firm is not one of the big players, but if you advertise entertainment then you must deliver on that promise. Sadly, a comedian who was about as funny as finding out we’d won a second week’s holiday with yourselves and a singer who sounded like she had a bad case of laryngitis, was not what we expected.

I could go on, but I would only end up depressing myself further and I think I have provided eenough information for you to be suitably concerned. I think that when you look into these matters you will agree that our holiday fell well short of our expectations and what you claim to provide. In the circumstances I think that a refund in the region of 50% of our holiday cost would not be inappropriate, but I will leave that for you to decide.

I look forward to hearing from you in due course.

Yours faithfully,

Mr Jones

The Manager,
Zoo View Holiday Park
The Avenue,
W23 7GC