Posts tagged as:

Christmas

Dear Santa

Dear Santa, I am writing to express my deep dissatisfaction at the service I received over the Christmas period 2010. Upon visiting the “Santa’s Grotto” in the local shopping centre I was accosted by two elves who suggested (rather inappropriately) that I may like to ‘sit on Santa’s knee’. When I declined this they immediately [...]

A Xmas Gripe

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Christmas is packaged with ascetic lights and glitter, but the lights can give lots of us headaches, and ‘that’ glitter gets absolutely everywhere, and can remain in nooks and crannies long after, a constant reminder of the whole sorry mess of it all! I’m nearly penniless – and why? Because Christmas has picked myself up [...]

Hypocritical Scrooge bans Christmas hat!

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to you in complaint of an incident that occurred on Saturday 19th December 2009 concerning a hat I was wearing. I arrived at Mariners Court with two of my friends wearing a Christmas hat. I walked straight past the doorman – I even said hello to him. At this point [...]

Christmas Television

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Dear Christmas Television Programmers I am writing from my hospital bed to voice my complaint about the quality of the programmes broadcast on television over the 2009 Christmas period which were extremely poor to say the least, and a complete waste of licence payer’s money. Apart from the usual Soaps, ‘Dr Who’ and ‘The Royale [...]

Christmas Food Shopping

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I hate food shopping, in fact I have a tendency to get bored to the point that I really do not care if we miss half the items on the list, I just want to go home! So you can imagine how I felt about the Christmas food shop I had been avoiding for two [...]

Silent night, Holy night, not so calm but very bright.

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Dear Council Environment Department, December again and out come the Christmas light displays on local houses, bigger, bolder and more brash than last year. Isn’t it about time someone from the council took these households in hand and reminded them that using enough electricity to power a NASA space station for a year is Not [...]